This morning I was sitting down having my time with God. I’ve been moving through the book of Exodus as of lately and it is leaving me so full. But today, as I read the text, something stood out to me. A revelation. And even after I wrote it down, the tug in my spirit would not relent. It only grew stronger and I heard something inside of me say, “Someone needs this revelation today.”
Now, to be clear, this doesn’t happen all that often. But when it does, I’ve learned that the tugging of my soul does not take a break until I’ve released the words.
I knew this morning, without a doubt, that I needed to send out an additional Monday email to close out this series. It needed to be today. It belongs to someone who desperately needs to read what I am about to write. So this is what obedience looks like to me on the Thursday before Christmas.
Here we go:
As I said, I’m in Exodus. Chapter 14. A lot of juicy stuff has gone down already. Moses has stepped into his calling from God with Aaron by his side. God has placed Moses as the frontrunner for leading the people of Egypt out of slavery. There’s been 10 plagues. And finally, after much hard-heartedness, Pharaoh releases the people into Moses’ hands and they begin making their journey out of Egypt.
And then, a plot twist.
Pharaoh changes his mind and decides to go after the people who are already on their way into the wilderness. He comes after them with weapons and chariots and a full army. And the people are shaking. They’re freaking out. They’re complaining because, “Why, Moses, why?! Why bring us this way if it was all for nothing?!”
They say to Moses, “We should have stayed in Egypt. It would have been better if we stayed.” Nothing about their decision to leave had changed from one day to the next.
What changed was their circumstances. Life went from hard to harder before it became better.
When circumstances get hard or lonely or uncomfortable, it is easy to switch on the part of our brains that romanticizes the past. We start believing that what we willingly walked away from wasn’t all that bad.
I could have fixed it.
It wasn’t that bad.
I had it good back then, I just didn’t see it.
I want to go back.
This is where the strong pull in my spirit came from today: for someone who walked away from something or someone and they were sure of that decision. And now, because things don’t look quite how you thought they would look, you’re second-guessing yourself. You are romanticizing what no longer fits your life. You are trying to convince yourself you could just go back…
I did this so many times in my single life.
I would date someone and I would realize we weren’t meant to be together. It was never a flippant decision but a sureness in my heart that this wasn’t it. This wasn’t person. But after walking away, the loneliness would set in. The fear would creep in. The feelings of “forever alone” would take over and I would find myself looking in the rearview mirror and thinking to myself, “I could go back. I could make it work.”
But look closer, friend. Look at how Moses responds when the Israelites cry and want to go back to Egypt, back into slavery.
“Do not be afraid. Stand firm and watch God do his work in you.”
I never noticed that before. In response to all the “I want to go back” feelings, the answer from God is better than that: Don’t be fearful of what the future holds. Just because you cannot see it does not mean there is goodness up ahead. I have better for you. Just stand firm in your decision and let me work it out in you.
If you are going through the thick of it today and you want to turn back then I need you to know you are meant to keep pushing forward. I feel it so strongly inside of me and my whole day has been jacked up trying to get this message to you.
The rearview mirror is tempting but you willingly walked away and you were sure when you made that decision. Nothing about the decision has changed, only the circumstances. Stand firm in the decision you made and keep walking through the wilderness.
You will get to the other side.
You will experience the sweet after the bitter.
You will understand one day why God pulled you from that relationship or that job or that perceived promise.
One day, you will understand. But for this day: keep moving forward. Through the winter and through the mud. Don’t be afraid– he’s got you and he knows where you are on the map.
You’re not lost, friend.
You’re finding your way.
Don’t quit before the miracles start to happen.
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