Hello Readers: If it were possible to miss all of your faces, I really think I would. I am gone for the next ten days making my move to New York City! But don't worry, I am not leaving you empty-handed by any means! I have lined up three lovely guest bloggers to hold down HannahKaty.com while I am gone.
Today you can still find me blogging over at Lucille in the Sky about my big move to New York City! Lucy and I have swapped sites for the day and I am absolutely honored to have her upon my page. Lucy is a blogger that I look up to in so many ways. I see a lot of myself in her and her writings but I rely on her page as a constant reminder to follow my own heart and count my blessings. I am sure you will be bookmarking her page after one glance at her writing...
When I stumbled upon Miss Hannah Katy, her blog immediately stole my heart because she speaks to the heart. Every one of her thoughts, her stories, her dreams. Her writing pulls me into a reverie, weaving together words and sentences in utterly perfect harmony. I've been particularly taken with her unabashed dream of finding true love (in a coffee shop, no less) as I was a dreamer of the same kind not too long ago. And since I've found this love and I bask in it's glory on a daily basis, I became compelled to share some thoughts as well as guidance to those struggling with love. Whether they are in a relationship and struggling with their partner, or single and struggling with themselves. I do not pretend to be an expert on love, but I am an unabashed expert at loving.
I love love.
Once upon a time, I was one of those hopeless romantic teenage girls who would become undeniably giddy after imbibing a simple romantic comedy. Drunk with hope and not yet jaded by the world of dating or broken hearts.
My heart swelled at the prospect of finding Him. The one who would love me in spite of myself. My quirks, my failures, my flaws. Someone who could see through the wall and into my guarded spirit. My hopes, my dreams, my values. And most of all, my heart of hearts.
My naiveté gradually eroded as I experienced the painful reality of dating in modern society, which usually involves too many expectations, too little commitment, and too much alcohol. Young men rarely know how to court a woman. They know how to get her drunk and sometimes, they know how to get her into bed. And it being the 21st century, women are embracing their sexuality. We like bad boys. We take lovers, we take friends with benefits, we even take random hook-ups. When more often than not, all we want is love.
Most young women I know, including myself, have had their fair share of disappointments when it comes to love and relationships, but there’s no rhyme or reason in dwelling on sadness. This is not a story of broken hearts. This is a story of love.
After all. I love love.
When I fell in love with my future husband, I was happy and already in love. With life. I had recently emerged from a transformation, an uncovering of my true self in which I shed false hopes and discovered a higher consciousness. I woke up. My spirituality deepened. I was 23 and I finally had a clear picture of who I was and who I wanted to be.
In retrospect, I met Him exactly when I was supposed to.
Any earlier, and I would not have been ready. Even though I wanted it earlier. Truthfully, I wanted to find Him for a long time.
Any earlier, and he would not have been ready. He would have been married. With a new baby. Or newly divorced. He needed time to heal and pick up the pieces.
Any earlier, and I may not have chosen Him. He is ten years older than me. I would have shunned a 30 year old when I was 20. Too old, too gray.
Any earlier, and he may not have chosen me. I was immature and out of touch with myself. He needed a confident woman, not an insecure girl.
We hear it often and we hear it often because it is true; patience is a virtue. If you’re looking for love, be patient. If you are not patient, you may accidentally settle for the wrong one. And the right one for you is out there. He is marinating, transforming into your perfect mate with each passing moment. Even when you’re lonely and frustrated, do not lose sight of possibility. Bitterness is the antithesis of love.
Instead, keep your heart and your eyes wide open. Try not to judge others based on their appearance, and others will be less likely to judge you by yours. Don’t be scared of dabbling in different ages and races. Don’t succumb to a picture of Him, because he may be short instead of tall. He may be blonde instead of brunette. He may have brown eyes instead of blue. He may be poor instead of wealthy. In the long run, physical appearance and monetary wealth are irrelevant. Both will do very little to make your heart sing.
It’s the heart that matters. Your heart, your partner’s heart, and the way they fit together.
I am aware of my own idealism. The idea that a great love is possible for everyone. But a perfect mate does not mean there will be no problems to work through or differences to accept or misunderstandings to understand. A perfect mate is an imperfect person whom you can learn to love perfectly. We can all have that, right?
It’s the stuff of happy endings. And not that I’m an expert on happy endings, but I do know a thing or three.
Believe. Believe that you will find Him. Know that you will find Him. Once in a while, pretend that you’ve already found Him. Ask the universe or God or your higher power for Him. Believe in your innate ability to manifest Him.
Follow your heart. Follow your heart to new experiences, new crowds, new friends. If you don’t feel good where you are, whether it’s at your job or with your best friend or in your home, follow your heart out of there. Run in the other direction if you have to.
Let go. Let go of the urge to look for Him everywhere. It’s a fine balance to strike between letting go and keeping your eyes open. Do not search, let Him come to you. Do not obsess about your crush who doesn’t call or the boyfriend who forgets about you. When you find Him, it will be easy. He will knock you off your feet, but he will pick you up before you fall. He will take the words right out of your mouth, but he’ll inspire new words you never knew were in you. He will call you, he will be thirsty for you, he will love you.
Follow your heart.
And you’ll meet Him exactly when you’re supposed to.
Have you found Him or Her? When and how?
Are you looking for Him or Her? If so, are you skeptical that you’ll find love? Or do you believe that He or She is out there, waiting for you?
Have you been hurt by someone whom you thought was The One? How did you discover that he or she was not The One?
Do you believe that anyone can be The One if the timing is right? Or do you believe that there is only One for everyone?
Please share your thoughts and love stories with us!