My heart is a messy bedroom but I can see the wallpaper just fine.
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
I wake up every day ready to embark on a scavenger hunt.
Find one black jacket Easy, right on the hook in my closet.
Find a pair of gym clothes Trickier. Potentially stored in a bin under my bed, at the bottom of my closet or in one of my many drawers. Folded? Forget it.
Find notebooks and textbooks for classes Ah, the challenge begins. Scavenge the desk, the bins and the floor. Find them in none of the just named places. Find them on the counter.
Find debit card The worst! Seriously, half of my morning is spent searching for a tiny piece of plastic that somehow dominates my life.
SparkNotes to the above: Hannah is messy; she wishes her life was not a constant search. She is actually better at scavenging than Sherlock Holmes and Dog the Bounty Hunter combined.
The idea of searching captivates me lately. We spend a lot of our times searching within our own selves. We search for courage, for resolutions, for clarity... And we eventually find it, within.
But what about happiness? What about the little things in life that make us smile? Should we have to search so hard for these? Should we have to dig so deep?
I will reveal a little secret about myself: I may do a lot of soul-searching (and searching for all my possessions) but I keep my trinkets of little happiness in a spot where I can always find them. No Matter What.
If I am losing you right now, just like I lost my ID this morning, let me ask you this: What simple things in your life make you happy? You, yes you! I am not talking the big grandiose abstract ideas that could not be lost in a messy room even if we tried. I am talking about the little things in life that make us smile. The cup of tea. The fresh smell of a new notebook. The aroma of brownies cooking in the oven. The sound of another's voice on the other line. These are the little facts that we should know way before we need to know where our keys are or what meetings need our attendance this afternoon. We should know the tiny treasures that can prompt a smile on our faces upon their arrival. We should have them ready to go; no matter what. This is how we take care of ourselves.
Back track to yesterday: Pulled an all-nighter. Rain was merciless. Felt absolutely terrible. Hungry and agitated. BAD DAY. One hour before my next class... Game time decision.
Be in a bad mood for the rest of the day VS. Take the hour and turn the day around.
Enter little happinesses. I trudged back to my room and put on my favorite pair of sweatpants, gym sneakers (which always make me smile) and favorite zip up. I sat on my kitchen counter, listened to Dave Matthew's Band and treated myself by dunking Oreos into my jar of peanut butter while playing a few rounds of Bejeweled. Instantly I felt better. Relieved. Ready to take on the day. All thanks to the fact that I know how to make my own self smile.
No matter what we may be searching for right now, inside or outside of ourselves, we should make it a mission to find our own little happinesses. They are our "go-to"s on days when the world seems to spite us. They are treasures that allow us to feel home inside of ourselves. They are the simple secrets that relight our being when the flame goes out. They are the wallpaper to our hearts.
What are your little happinesses?