I am going through a break-up people. That's right. Get me a box of tissues and a series of sappy love movies starring Leo DiCaprio and/or Jennifer Aniston. And chocolate too.
Although I would love to say there is someone in my life that could even potentially permit me to even refer to the word "break-up," this whole split is taking place internally. My head and my heart, yea, they need a break from one another. They have been fighting like an old couple, disagreeing like a jealous couple and my head is being a total control freak. So I am forcing the break up upon these two, an intervention if you will.
Basically, my heart is too nice to dump my head and my head is not good enough for my heart right now.
Translation with a more thoughtful assortment of words: I am reaching a point where I am thinking too much and I need to take a few steps backward and just let my heart lead.
Wouldn't it be great if our hearts and our heads could always be in harmony? We could come across someone or something and allow ourselves to enjoy their company or enjoy the fact that we have this thing in our life instead of constantly stressing or over thinking the matter. If over thinking were a crime, this would be my third court date and I would have already completed nearly 400 hours of community service.
Here is the rationale that I wish I could always follow:
- If someone makes us smile, we allow them to stick around.
- If someone catches our breath, we would allow ourselves to stop breathing because they make us feel like we no longer need air.
- If we find a hobby or a passion that kicks our happiness into overdrive then we stop always having to think so practically or logistically and we simply enjoy this wild gift.
- If we stop and realize that we are completely content in a moment then we don't allow our heads to blow away the moment with "what if"s and "this is too good to be true"s.
- If something is simple, feels simple, sounds simple, we allow it to be simple and a part of our life.
Seems pretty simple when I write it out, but it is so hard to heed this advice in life.
So here I am, completely happy. And my heart and I are doing a little Irish jig and we are loving up life but my head is trying so hard to invade and take away our carefree dance. It feels like a party that I am sure we all have been to, filled with our closest friends and the people we adore. And then slowly but surely more people start to arrive, strangers and people we know but cannot put names to their faces. Suddenly the room is crowded and we can no longer move. We want to leave the party.
Jeepers, this is not how I want to feel and I adamant to make sure that it does not come to this. Hence the break up. So long little head full of doubt and overly thought out thoughts. Ta ta insecurities. Adieu practicality and reasoning and big heavy words that imply I should dwell on irrational thoughts.
My head will be bitter over this sudden break up, it will complain that it never saw this coming. I am sure it will call my heart half a million times and beg to get back together. I am positive that it will swear it has changed and that it won't make the same mistakes again, but you know what? At least until the end of the semester I am letting this break up stand. My heart and I have a little dance to do, and at least for now, three is a crowd.
How you deal when your heart and your head go up against each other?